No!
I have gone back and forth with a lot of girlfriends about this topic. For me it’s a no. I don’t think there can be a clear friendship after a break up. Some friends said “well, it depends on how the relationship ended”. In their opinion, if the relationship ended amicably and both parties parted ways without any mess then there is room for a friendship.....more stories after the cut
One of my girlfriends even said one of her exes has now
turned out to be a very good friend. Two snaps and a twirl to them for
making it work, but for me I still believe that it is not possible.
Well, maybe ‘not possible’ is not exactly right so I will say I don’t
advise it. Just as they say men and women can’t be friends because
someone always wants more, I believe that the same thing applies to
people who become friends after a relationship.I have gone back and forth with a lot of girlfriends about this topic. For me it’s a no. I don’t think there can be a clear friendship after a break up. Some friends said “well, it depends on how the relationship ended”. In their opinion, if the relationship ended amicably and both parties parted ways without any mess then there is room for a friendship.....more stories after the cut
I always tell little stories to solidify
my point of view so here goes another one. By the way I hope my BN
family like reading those stories that give a little insight about this
loud thinker.
I met Paul and instantly there was
chemistry between us. Something we tried hard to ignore because we met
at the wrong time. You know that moment when you meet someone and you
are not single. Then the moment you are single it just so happens that
the person is in a relationship and so on. Well that was exactly the
story between Paul and I but we were able to keep the friendship while
trying our hardest to ignore the chemistry. Finally the timing became
right and we decided to give it a go.
Whatever chemical substance we felt
between us soon dissolved and we decided to path ways. We still tried
our best to remain friends but it was very tough. We will call each
other and reminisce about good times and sometimes went out on dates. We
sometimes forgot we were friends when we ran into each other at social
events. In the midst of this, he happened to find himself a girlfriend. I
was actually relief that the line will be drawn between us out of
respect for the relationship.
We went from reminiscing to being
friends and again trying hard to ignore the chemistry that somehow
appeared again. We were slowly getting there. During our phone calls,
after Paul’s usual “have you moved on?” “who are you with now?” “do you
miss me?”, we were able to just catch up as friends because I always
turned him down or avoided those kind of questions. I did this because
this was my first go around at trying to be friends with an ex.
Finally the awkward questions
disappeared and it was just friendship. One day he called me and asked
if I still cared about him. I said no and reminded him that he was with
someone. Paul said “ok because I am going to propose to her”. I asked
for details and he told me and I wished him luck. A few weeks passed and
I asked him how the proposal went. My people oh! This boy flooded my
Whatsapp with pictures and videos of the proposal, the ring and all the
emotional pictures that were taken after she said yes. My first reaction
was “ah ah one picture or the video of the proposal will do. Am I the
maid of honor?”. But I went ahead and congratulated him and asked him if
he was ready and he said yes.
Then about a month later, Paul was back with not only the awkward questions but he was asking to see me. I spoke to my friend and she told me “you two cannot be friends” and that was exactly what I told him.
Then about a month later, Paul was back with not only the awkward questions but he was asking to see me. I spoke to my friend and she told me “you two cannot be friends” and that was exactly what I told him.
This is not the only reason why I
believe it is a bad idea to be friends with your ex. I have had other
experiences that have made me believe that a friendship is hard after a
breakup. Some people will say that it depends on how long you have dated
the person, or how the relationship ended, or if there was a friendship
prior to the relationship.
I will still say that it is very hard to
maintain especially if it was a long relationship and it was very
emotional. If you do want to become friends with an ex, I will advice
making sure that your feelings are completely under control. Make sure
that deep deep deep down (I say deep three times because we never like
to admit this point) in your heart there is no and I mean no ounce of
hope that the friendship will lead to a relationship again because this
is where people usually feel the hurt from the relationship all over
again.
I am not saying that exes cannot get back together. This life get as ei be.
If you do get back together great but I am talking about situations
where both parties know that ending the relationship is the best thing
to do. What do you think about the topic? Do you think exes can maintain
a friendship right after a breakup? Do you have a friend that was once a
partner? Share your experiences with me. I love reading the comments.
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